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He identifies as “straight with bisexual tendencies” and has been hooking up with other guys on the down low since he was 19.

“Hooking up with other men, to me, is a non-complicated way of releasing sexual steam,” he explains.

Alone, I blended in quite nicely with the queer mosaic of the crowd.

However, I was with my ex-girlfriend, and as we passionately made our bodies and lips into one on the dancefloor, it wasn’t my look that was turning people’s heads.

The party, a swanky roof-top affair in New York City, was called “On Top.” I was feeling even more on-top than most, considering the 9-inch, Jeffery Campbell heels I was wearing.

I also had on my one-of-a-kind black sequin jacket—the one that, when the designer said, “It’s vintage,” I said, “Say no more.” My face was painted club-kid chic, and, despite my broad shoulders, I moved around with a certain sassy elegance: All-in-all, I was definitely serving some femme realness.

It was the juxtaposition of my femme presentation with the clear fact that I was getting hot and heavy with a woman.

I’m bisexual, and though I’ve never once identified as gay (not even when I came out as a teenager 10 years ago), that label is an assumption I face regularly—especially from those who’ve known me when I’ve been dating men.

Of all the men interviewed, 6.2 percent of them said they had engaged in same-sex sexual activity at least once in their lifetime.Since I was attracted to boys, I just assumed I was straight and ignored the attraction I felt for girls.I never gave myself the chance to think about it because I was safe where I was.I also started to realize that strict monogamy may not be the best idea for me.I would very much like to be able to love more than one person, but my husband is and wants us to remain strictly monogamous. I think my parents would accept my bisexuality, especially since I'm married to a man and therefore not actually dating women, but they're still busy processing the fact that I'm not Christian.

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